Nostalgia

I am not a nostalgic person. You will never catch me reminiscing, talking about days long gone and what once have been. And I think this for two main reasons. One I hated being a child, I hated being a teenager and I loved being an adult. I spent my childhood waiting to be a grown up and my teenage years depressed and wishing fora  better a future. Plus my parents were so strict that the main answer to anything was a "No", so there was not much to enjoy. The second reason is that I always look out for tomorrow with so many plans and wants that I am too busy to think about the past.
Now the other type of nostalgia, which is to the old ways of life... well that is just not my thing. I love all useful inventions; starting with plumbing all the way to ipads. And I would never go life was and was, thank you but I love my running water and electricity.

The weird thing is I so often  find myself in tears when I hear a nostalgic music, tune or song. And I have been wondering why? Recently for example I discovered this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdumI2I7Kp8 and I am in tears every time I listen to it. That Fairuz song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPloeGzYUQ4 always gave me this nostalgic feeling and I don't know whether to cry or laugh when I listen to it. So what is it. I am neither Lebanese to miss that way of life, nor am I Hijazi so what is it?

 Well finally I think I figured it out. I am nostalgic for a dream. The dream of a wonderful life, the dream of peace, the dream of love, the dream of decency. The dream for a life with no bad thoughts or ill feelings, a life where one would feel safe, loved and secure. The dream of a life where one would know no harm can come to you or your loved ones. I am nostalgic for a dream. And I cry....